Writing Another Book

I have many books on the go. This recent one I'm trying to write has to do with the events of Kelowna. I might write two parts of this book, when with the boy's perspective and one with the girl's but as I haven't even finished Chapter 1, I have a while to go. I have quite a lot to get done which also happens to be lingering school work. As I've read from LinkedIn it's good to have multiple projects on the go. And boy, do I have lots of projects: school work, have to look over the edits of my first book The Wrongdoer for the editor I'm paying, have to record another book a friend of mine, and I probably should edit multiple poems which were sent back to me when I submitted them to some magazines.

Long months of writing ahead.

Reading Week

It's reading week and I should probably be doing school work but instead I'm writing this post. Feeling quite tired so I might just have a nap after I post this. I saw my psychiatrist because of, you know, the incident. If you're unsure about the incident please reply with your email and I'll give you a detailed description about it if you're interested.

Anyway, I still see a psychiatrist. He's more of the guy I go to for checkups just to make sure I'm doing alright. I was finally able to reason with him to make monthly meetings because these stupid appointments take up my time especially when I sit in a small enclosed room and talk about hardly anything. It's like having a casually constrained conversation with a neighbour except for the fact that you sit in a chair and your listener sometimes asks you questions about your health and other information like your sleep pattern, if you eat healthy, etc. I wanted to get rid of him so my friend suggested that I pretty much tell him I've cleansed myself, you know, (the whole incident happened with a girl) that I've come to terms with the fact that what happened in Kelowna could not be controlled by me and that I would like to apologize to the girl I hurt which I obviously can't do so I'm apologizing to my psychiatrist instead. Well, I'm still seeing the guy and all it did was provoke questions as to why I felt the need to apologize especially to my psychiatrist. But we seemed to conclude that it was good to get it out of my system. All that I really got out of my friend's advice was the fact that I sort of had a real conversation with my psychiatrist for about 5 minutes. I guess that's a good thing.

But when it comes to this girl, thoughts of her come and go. I mean, I'm single and a bit lonely so I think it makes sense for my thoughts to divert to what could've been and imagine that I still have a chance with this girl I sort of frightened. Healthy? I wouldn't think so but what choice do I have? I'm trying to move on but where exactly am I moving to? I'm not dating anyone and right now it seems no one would really wants to date me anyway.

Sometimes I feel like Matchbox Twenty's "The Difference":

I don't want nobody
Nobody don't want me
And I'm so sad so lonely
And I'm always landing on my feet

Though, I do want somebody I just don't know who really, just someone. I mean, we all need love in this world, right? And I don't mean family or friend love. I mean the real personal stuff.

But I guess that's kind of shallow; wanting someone but not knowing who. 

But as the old cliché outlines: good things come to those who wait.

So until then, I wait.

I don't know where I'm headed but I do miss the excitement of Kelowna. Everything here in Toronto seems so dull. Though, I don't wish to be thrown back into a mental hospital and be deemed insane, but it would be nice to get back to my first writers' group and see my B.C. friends.

The writing group that I started at York though is growing. We had a table for the group on the 14 of February (yep, no real love there or secret Valentine, but I've always hated Valentine's Day anyway) and recruited some members. The only thing that excites me after reading week is starting up my group again. We have two more table meetings and hopefully we can even make money off some baked goods some members will bring. We also have a writing contest so I hope people get involved in that as well. Y U WRITE (York University writers' group) I feel is doing much better than UBCO WRITES (University of British Columbia Okanagan's writers' group). If I ever get back to B.C., I have some changes for the group that I think will really help UBCO WRITES expand.

21 and I Don't Feel At All Different

21. The age where i can drink EVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEEE! It's pretty fantastic. I just turned 21 on February 8 and though I went to Hugh's Room with my family it was still great. Had McFadden scotch-whiskey which is simply the best. The Etta James tribute concert was amazing and that Shakura S'Aida can really sing. My mom apparently knew all about her. My sister also came down from McGill in Montréal to celebrate my birthday which was pretty great as well. Thanks to her I have two books on manliness. Barney Stinson's Bro Code and the Maxims of Manhood. Now that I'm a man, I have to read all about being a man.

I already finished reading the Debrett's Guide for the Modern Gentleman but my sister says that it's better to be a man than a gentleman. So far I've learned from Maxims that a man eats blood enriched foods and wears pink. From Bro Code however, I've learned that a bro always reminds another bro about their girlfriend's birthday, the bro's anniversary, etc. and that a bro never wears pink even in Europe. Clearly, I have contradictory books here but I don't think anyone should agree to everything they read. But with regards to the pink rule, I will wear it not because of the books but because I already own pink clothes. Simple as that.

But as this title highlights, I don't feel different. Not at all. Still feel like the same lonely, creatively charming, single guy. But Valentine's Day is coming up so maybe that'll bring hope to my miserable situation? Sadly I doubt it. According to Maxims, I should despise Valentine's Day and don't understand it. If you want to know the true history of Valentine's Day you should check out Michael Lake's version. And once you've read that you'll find "Cupid" to be some creep in a diaper. Anyway, that day I'm tabling at York University in order to promote my writers' group so at least I won't be bored this Valentine's Day. Last Valentine's Day was the psychotic breakdown so hopefully no strange triggers go off this time. Honestly, I shouldn't even discuss that anymore.

But like my title suggests, I don't feel different. I still hate York University but university plans for next year right now or up in the air. If any changes have occurred with me, it would probably be the fact that I'm behind in my school work and I'm never behind. Also, my work ethic therefore has decreased. I've handed two assignments which I know were crap and got one back confirming its crappiness. 57% is not something you go waving around in joy.

If anything my birthday should be my resolution to work harder but I'm hardly working given the fact that I'm writing this blog post instead of attending to school work. Oh well.

School though has lost interest for me at least at York. I'm not really learning anything but how to regurgitate information. Education by definition provides a learning component. Since that component's not there I'm sitting in a class listening to a teacher instruct. Why was it British Columbia that classes seemed to be more engaging knowledgefilled? Is it because it was my 1st year in university or is it because British Columbia just has a better teaching method than York? Or is it my B.C. bias kicking in? Who knows? All I know is that York isn't for me and I've been thinking that way for a while now so therefore, no difference.

It's Been A While

Since I wrote anything on this blog. 2011 is long gone and we're now in 2013. Still unemployed and looking for work. Now I go to York University in Toronto but I wish I was back in Kelowna, British Columbia at UBCO. I'm trying to start up a writers' group at the Keele campus at York and just spent the last three days sending emails to every professor I could email to ask if I could announce the group in their classes.

School work you ask?

Nah, haven't done any for this week which is terrible. Tomorrow I put up posters for my group. Really, it's been GROUP! GROUP! GROUP! for the past week. I have lots of work I need to get to like readings from the Bible, essays to write, etc. But I won't bore you with that information. That's my problem, not yours.

If any of you are interested I have another blog which I regularly use: The Ruffetting Post. Word of the Days have been lacking for the last few days and everyone I contacted on Facebook to provide me a word has not ANSWERED ME! Usually people do respond so I can't explain the lack of responses. But on that sentence, please submit to my online magazine or at least provide a word of the day. That would be greatly appreciated. And since I'm selling myself on this blog, if you like videos, singing, reading, and me in general check out my Youtube channel and of course if you just like writing there's always WritersCafe. Right, that's enough of self promotion.

If you asked me how I was I'd probably say I'm fine but really I'm getting quite sick of Toronto. I was brought back to the city I was born in almost in a body bag. ALMOST. That has an interesting story to it and it involves a girl. Well, doesn't it always? Well that girl people tell me I should forget and on top of that I shouldn't even think of having a future with her. Still, that girl is in Kelowna, British Columbia; the place I want to go back to. Of course it is bloody stupid for me to go back just for her but really I want to go back for myself. I miss my friends and Toronto is not like how it was before. Will I go back? Now that's the big question, isn't it? I have no idea. If I'm funding myself, no chance really. If my parents help me even if they're scared shitless of me going back, I might have a chance. I don't know though if they will. I now see a psychiatrist due to my little episode. Here's a break down on the episode: crush on a girl, get obsessed, restraining order, mental hospital, go to Toronto, come back to UBCO, still obsessed, another trip to the mental hospital, Toronto, psychiatrist. That's all you really need to know.

As you can see, I'm more delusional than before. But I'm making the best of what I have. Maybe next post I'll have more to write about.

Oh yeah, and now I sign my name with this like I'm famous:

With writes,

-Andy Ruffett


P.S. Don't forget that there is not another post unless someone comments or likes this post or a previous one. Can you even like on Blogger? Well, if you can, I'll post again if I get a comment or like.

One is the Loneliest Number

It really is. As many have said, we are social creatures. We live to be social. You ever hear about the story of the children who had no affection but were still taken care of? They all curled up against the wall and died. Why? Because they had no affection. True story. Back in the day, many didn't realize how important affection was. Life is pointless if we don't do something with it. I'm completely against suicidals and people who are deeply depressed. People make us live. Without people, we die, essentially. All those people who live by themselves they try to find something to do. If they're retired, well they join some group. They don't just sit on a couch and watch the world pass by. Well some do, and they need to be shown how spectacular  life is. So do something with your life, and you'll enjoy living as long as you do. I don't want to put religion into this and I don't know when I'll die. All I know is I'm going to live my life the way I want to live my life. You should do the same.

What is the point of that last paragraph? Well, let me explain.

I'm alone. Okay, now that's a depressing way to start a sentence. The point is, I'm alone in the house. Yes, "Home Alone" if you like. No one else is here. Being jobless doesn't help the situation. No job and no one else in the house because my parents are in Spain. What's a 19-year-old to do? Party? Well there is that, but I'm actually looking for a job, so not much time for that. Luckily, my last job, that I had before I travelled for two months around Europe, seems to want to hire me back, so hopefully I'll be working in a few days. Going back to what I wrote in my first paragraph, life needs to have a purpose in order for it to be fun. No one should throw their life away. We are all brilliant, we are all intelligent. Find yourself, know what to do, and then do it. Whatever it may be. By the words of Stephen Fry, "How will you ever know if you don't try?" Trying is all the fun of it. "Make mistakes, get messy," as the famous Ms. Frizzle once said. But as a good friend told me, there's a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom comes from within. So believe in yourself, and that's all I'm going to write here.

Now back to me:

So now that you've digested all that or just skipped it entirely, days can be quite boring when you're jobless, alone in the house, and all your friends are working. For the past few days I've been going out looking for a job. It is very strenuous work. But job hunting is a job in itself. At least, I'm creative. I can easily write, sing, and play the drums to pass the time. Still, it would be nice to have some company. That's why I'm very excited to be working again. You experience so much when working, and you learn so much too. Experience teaches. Also as a writer, I'm very interested in people. They are quite some fascinating people out there. Understand the mind and the different people in the world, and you can create characters. Go out and explore the world, and understand the mechanics of the world, you've created a setting. Now, learn through either being self taught or being taught by a teacher who knows what they're doing, and you can create a beginning, a middle, and an end for your story. Well, if you're planning to write a book that is. There are many different writing conventions within different types of works though. If you want to write poetry, you just need to understand structure, timing, rhythm, and many other conventions. Read The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry if you're at all interested in this particular subject. If you want to write an essay, all you need is an argument and a topic. Now it's up to you to make your argument convincing. You have to have a way with words for that. Short stories are like short novels. A script a has completely different set of conventions. There are many things I can spend my time doing and while travelling alone, I wrote quite a lot and read a lot. Reading and writing go hand in hand. Without reading you can't write and without writing, well, you can't be writing well if you don't read as well. The word writer is nothing special. "A writer is a person who writes," Professor Arnie Achtman said. Anyone who writes is a writer. But it takes greatness and wisdom, to become the title Novelist or Poet or Scriptwriter. We all have a genius inside us, we just need to release it. But writing is best done alone, so I guess being alone isn't so bad. I have always been a sociable guy, so really writing out of boredom is more like talking to myself but through characters I create. I've always had a creative imagination and have always been a deep thinker. So I guess for me, being alone isn't so bad as long as I have my mind, a computer and keyboard or a notepad, and a pencil or a pen. Still, it's lonely being alone and it's really the reason I wrote this entry. 

My Globe: The Slightly Embarassing Story

Many years ago I was an immature teenager, well maybe I still am, you be the judge. Back in the day, my sister and I loved to make up random improv sketches and film them. Sometimes we even had story lines but nothing was ever written on a script. I believe the day it happened was when we were pretending there was a killer on the lose and I was a teacher teaching my invisible students (though I would have obviously thought they were real) about the world when suddenly I was shot or maybe I had a heart attack and there was no killer, I can't remember, it was so long ago. Anyway, the point being, that when I fell down I was holding a globe in my hand and the delicate structure smashed on the ground and the whole stand came lose. A chunk of plastic, that held the stand together, also broke off. I was so angry with myself after the aftermath of our stupid film. That globe had been given to me as a name day present.* I thought I had really destroyed it so I duct taped the stand to the globe so it could still "stand" without wobbling over. The duct tape never really held and it just kept "wobbling over." A few weeks ago, I realized that this duct tape was useless (I have just proven that not anything can be fixed with duct tape) and removed all of it. But since I had left it on for so long, the adhesive had peeled off and was all over the stand making it very sticky like sap from a pine tree. If you ever had pine sap stuck to you, you know what I'm talking about. So I went down to Mastermind to ask them if maybe I could buy another stand from them, but they didn't carry stands without globes and one of the sales associates told me to email the company that made my globe, it wasn't the same company that made the Mastermind ones. Well I had put that idea off until yesterday where I then googled the company Globemaster and was able to find thousands of results but most on military and marine life. I decided to fix this globe myself using elastics. After wrapping the globe with elastic upon elastic, even my dad helped hold the globe in place, I realized this method was useless and none of these stupid elastics would hold the stand in place. That was when my dad noticed the little hole in the bottom part of the bar that held the globe and the inside of the piece that connected the base to the rest of the globe. The way the inside was formed, it seemed that the hole should easily fit in there. He left me to ponder this thought until it came to me. The hole was in the shape of a screw head. There was a screw inside the part of the piece that held the base and bar of the globe. I had wondered what it was doing there. The screw fit in the screw head hole which would then be inserted into the piece. The bottom of the screw would be seen under the base and after you tightened the nut, it would all fall into place. The chunk of the piece that broke off was able to rest back in the groove it left. With many elastics wrapped around the piece, they held the piece together. So I'm a screw head and a nut for not figuring this out long ago. That duct tape so many years ago was pointless. I had to cover that piece with tons and tons of elastics so I wouldn't touch the sticky adhesive marks. Wow. Well, the mistakes we make help us construct for a better future. You can read that literally and say that I'll be constructing globes some day. Ha! Yeah, right. Or you can take the non literal approach or believe it to mean that some day I'm going to break another person's globe but guess what? I'll know how to fix it. Maybe.

* My full name is Andonis (An-don-e) which means Anthony in Greek and every Greek name has a name day. Mine is January 17. Andonis, if you search it, is also a "variant of Andrew" according to WeddingVendors.com. My name means brave and manly, and my famous bearer is Prince Andrew. So really, when people call me Andrew, they are somewhat right because there is Andrew in my name. It's really why my nickname is Andy, it derives from Andonis. My mother always liked the name Andy. Still, I keep telling people that there is no Andrew in my name because there really isn't. You see, there is no name day for Andonis but there is a name day for Antonis which means Anthony in Greek. Anthony can also somewhat derive from Andonis as well. If you just switch the "d" to a "t," you get Antonis. But isn't Andonis, much better sounding? I think so. Anyway, as Gus says in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "There you go."

Cold Comedy

Today was freezing outside. I never really particularly liked the cold, never have. I like winter but not when the icy wind rushes through your body. Yesterday was my birthday so I am officially 19 now. Legal in every way, well, in Canada. Read my horoscope today and was told that I would be very financially successful. It even told me to buy me a lottery ticket, so I did. Didn't win anything unfortunately. Chose Crossword, maybe the odds were against me. Almost got two words though. The cashier asked me if I was over 25 and I stupidly said, "Yes." She just nodded at me as I began to hand her the three dollars. I asked her to clarify the question and once I found out that if I was under 25 I had to show her ID, I showed her my driver's license to prove my age. What occurred to me though was that I could have lied and left with the cashier thinking I'm 25. Of course it's something I'd never do, but I never thought I looked anywhere close to 25. The rest of the day was just spent at home fixing iTunes. I'm trying to organize my library and it's taking a brutally long time. I won't dwell into the details. Soon left the house to go shopping for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" CD because I love the album cover and the music of course. While shopping at HMV, I bought an additional CD, Dave Matthew's "The Best of What's Around" and the movie "Get Smart." It was only $6 and my mother's cousin, who lives in Montreal, had Steve Carell and the film crew drop by his house, and they asked him if they could use his ladas in the film. "Get Smart" was a show around in the 1960s and 1970s that would have used cars of the lada age in the show. The film crew wanted the movie to be as close to the show as possible. They paid him a huge sum of money for the use of his ladas and my mom's cousin even taught Terrence Stamp, who plays Siegfried in the film, how to drive standard because he didn't know how. The cast came to his house and he even got to watch some of the scenes, like the ballroom scene. American actors usually come to Canada to film because it's cheaper and that's just what Carell and the film crew were doing. I even got an autograph by Steve Carrel and one of my friends got one as well. It was a great experience and I had to buy the film to remember the laughs and memories of what this film really means to me.
         At around dinner time, a good friend of mine called me asking if I wanted to go to a bar and see a friend of mine do some stand-up comedy along with many other comedians. Of course I said "yes" because I don't do much these days except work and save for my backpacking trip to Europe which I'm doing in April. We met at his place and just hung out until it was time to head over. His condo is just across the street from the bar. Being 19, I bought each of us a Guinness that was recommended to me via text message from my friend's brother, an also good friend of mine. The Guinness was alright, I never cared for beer much. Some of the comedians were pretty funny, including my friend. Though, I'd heard some of his material before but that's just because he's still trying out material. I'm a huge supporter and have been to a few shows. His punchline at the end is golden. When I was getting the beers, and elderly woman started asking me if I liked Guinness and I told her that it tastes really good in Geneva, Switzerland without realizing the beer I had tried had been Heineken, a German beer, not an Irish one. My friend thought it pretty odd too when I texted him the story. Anyway, this woman was clearly drunk and I quickly left after I received my drinks. It cost me $15 though for both and I was a bit shocked at how expensive this was. I'm no alcohol expert, but I'm pretty sure you can get beer for way cheaper. I went back upstairs with my overly expensive beers in hand and we drank while watching the comedians. Later on, the elderly woman came up the stairs and began talking throughout one funnyman's stand-up. He kept telling her to shut up, but wasn't that tense about it. Comedy, I know is an art, some people have it while others don't. But what I really find strange is how hard some comedians try. I believe anyone can be humourous because life is humourous at parts. I'm not saying I'm some hilarious funnyman, but I can easily tell when someone's trying to shove jokes down my throat. With humour, you've got to be very comfortable and natural with it. If you try too hard, it'll probably not be funny. You've got to be witty and clever at points, and enjoy the topic your talking about. Also, toilet humor. It can be funny but if you push it too far, your act becomes toilet humor. Some people don't know where to start, while others have no idea where to begin.  I wonder what would happen if I did stand-up, I wonder if people would laugh. I would have to come up with some material though, that might be a bit tough. I believe anyone can be funny, if they don't think too hard and are just themselves.