Many years ago I was an immature teenager, well maybe I still am, you be the judge. Back in the day, my sister and I loved to make up random improv sketches and film them. Sometimes we even had story lines but nothing was ever written on a script. I believe the day it happened was when we were pretending there was a killer on the lose and I was a teacher teaching my invisible students (though I would have obviously thought they were real) about the world when suddenly I was shot or maybe I had a heart attack and there was no killer, I can't remember, it was so long ago. Anyway, the point being, that when I fell down I was holding a globe in my hand and the delicate structure smashed on the ground and the whole stand came lose. A chunk of plastic, that held the stand together, also broke off. I was so angry with myself after the aftermath of our stupid film. That globe had been given to me as a name day present.* I thought I had really destroyed it so I duct taped the stand to the globe so it could still "stand" without wobbling over. The duct tape never really held and it just kept "wobbling over." A few weeks ago, I realized that this duct tape was useless (I have just proven that not anything can be fixed with duct tape) and removed all of it. But since I had left it on for so long, the adhesive had peeled off and was all over the stand making it very sticky like sap from a pine tree. If you ever had pine sap stuck to you, you know what I'm talking about. So I went down to Mastermind to ask them if maybe I could buy another stand from them, but they didn't carry stands without globes and one of the sales associates told me to email the company that made my globe, it wasn't the same company that made the Mastermind ones. Well I had put that idea off until yesterday where I then googled the company Globemaster and was able to find thousands of results but most on military and marine life. I decided to fix this globe myself using elastics. After wrapping the globe with elastic upon elastic, even my dad helped hold the globe in place, I realized this method was useless and none of these stupid elastics would hold the stand in place. That was when my dad noticed the little hole in the bottom part of the bar that held the globe and the inside of the piece that connected the base to the rest of the globe. The way the inside was formed, it seemed that the hole should easily fit in there. He left me to ponder this thought until it came to me. The hole was in the shape of a screw head. There was a screw inside the part of the piece that held the base and bar of the globe. I had wondered what it was doing there. The screw fit in the screw head hole which would then be inserted into the piece. The bottom of the screw would be seen under the base and after you tightened the nut, it would all fall into place. The chunk of the piece that broke off was able to rest back in the groove it left. With many elastics wrapped around the piece, they held the piece together. So I'm a screw head and a nut for not figuring this out long ago. That duct tape so many years ago was pointless. I had to cover that piece with tons and tons of elastics so I wouldn't touch the sticky adhesive marks. Wow. Well, the mistakes we make help us construct for a better future. You can read that literally and say that I'll be constructing globes some day. Ha! Yeah, right. Or you can take the non literal approach or believe it to mean that some day I'm going to break another person's globe but guess what? I'll know how to fix it. Maybe.
* My full name is Andonis (An-don-e) which means Anthony in Greek and every Greek name has a name day. Mine is January 17. Andonis, if you search it, is also a "variant of Andrew" according to WeddingVendors.com. My name means brave and manly, and my famous bearer is Prince Andrew. So really, when people call me Andrew, they are somewhat right because there is Andrew in my name. It's really why my nickname is Andy, it derives from Andonis. My mother always liked the name Andy. Still, I keep telling people that there is no Andrew in my name because there really isn't. You see, there is no name day for Andonis but there is a name day for Antonis which means Anthony in Greek. Anthony can also somewhat derive from Andonis as well. If you just switch the "d" to a "t," you get Antonis. But isn't Andonis, much better sounding? I think so. Anyway, as Gus says in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "There you go."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Cold Comedy
Today was freezing outside. I never really particularly liked the cold, never have. I like winter but not when the icy wind rushes through your body. Yesterday was my birthday so I am officially 19 now. Legal in every way, well, in Canada. Read my horoscope today and was told that I would be very financially successful. It even told me to buy me a lottery ticket, so I did. Didn't win anything unfortunately. Chose Crossword, maybe the odds were against me. Almost got two words though. The cashier asked me if I was over 25 and I stupidly said, "Yes." She just nodded at me as I began to hand her the three dollars. I asked her to clarify the question and once I found out that if I was under 25 I had to show her ID, I showed her my driver's license to prove my age. What occurred to me though was that I could have lied and left with the cashier thinking I'm 25. Of course it's something I'd never do, but I never thought I looked anywhere close to 25. The rest of the day was just spent at home fixing iTunes. I'm trying to organize my library and it's taking a brutally long time. I won't dwell into the details. Soon left the house to go shopping for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" CD because I love the album cover and the music of course. While shopping at HMV, I bought an additional CD, Dave Matthew's "The Best of What's Around" and the movie "Get Smart." It was only $6 and my mother's cousin, who lives in Montreal, had Steve Carell and the film crew drop by his house, and they asked him if they could use his ladas in the film. "Get Smart" was a show around in the 1960s and 1970s that would have used cars of the lada age in the show. The film crew wanted the movie to be as close to the show as possible. They paid him a huge sum of money for the use of his ladas and my mom's cousin even taught Terrence Stamp, who plays Siegfried in the film, how to drive standard because he didn't know how. The cast came to his house and he even got to watch some of the scenes, like the ballroom scene. American actors usually come to Canada to film because it's cheaper and that's just what Carell and the film crew were doing. I even got an autograph by Steve Carrel and one of my friends got one as well. It was a great experience and I had to buy the film to remember the laughs and memories of what this film really means to me.
At around dinner time, a good friend of mine called me asking if I wanted to go to a bar and see a friend of mine do some stand-up comedy along with many other comedians. Of course I said "yes" because I don't do much these days except work and save for my backpacking trip to Europe which I'm doing in April. We met at his place and just hung out until it was time to head over. His condo is just across the street from the bar. Being 19, I bought each of us a Guinness that was recommended to me via text message from my friend's brother, an also good friend of mine. The Guinness was alright, I never cared for beer much. Some of the comedians were pretty funny, including my friend. Though, I'd heard some of his material before but that's just because he's still trying out material. I'm a huge supporter and have been to a few shows. His punchline at the end is golden. When I was getting the beers, and elderly woman started asking me if I liked Guinness and I told her that it tastes really good in Geneva, Switzerland without realizing the beer I had tried had been Heineken, a German beer, not an Irish one. My friend thought it pretty odd too when I texted him the story. Anyway, this woman was clearly drunk and I quickly left after I received my drinks. It cost me $15 though for both and I was a bit shocked at how expensive this was. I'm no alcohol expert, but I'm pretty sure you can get beer for way cheaper. I went back upstairs with my overly expensive beers in hand and we drank while watching the comedians. Later on, the elderly woman came up the stairs and began talking throughout one funnyman's stand-up. He kept telling her to shut up, but wasn't that tense about it. Comedy, I know is an art, some people have it while others don't. But what I really find strange is how hard some comedians try. I believe anyone can be humourous because life is humourous at parts. I'm not saying I'm some hilarious funnyman, but I can easily tell when someone's trying to shove jokes down my throat. With humour, you've got to be very comfortable and natural with it. If you try too hard, it'll probably not be funny. You've got to be witty and clever at points, and enjoy the topic your talking about. Also, toilet humor. It can be funny but if you push it too far, your act becomes toilet humor. Some people don't know where to start, while others have no idea where to begin. I wonder what would happen if I did stand-up, I wonder if people would laugh. I would have to come up with some material though, that might be a bit tough. I believe anyone can be funny, if they don't think too hard and are just themselves.
At around dinner time, a good friend of mine called me asking if I wanted to go to a bar and see a friend of mine do some stand-up comedy along with many other comedians. Of course I said "yes" because I don't do much these days except work and save for my backpacking trip to Europe which I'm doing in April. We met at his place and just hung out until it was time to head over. His condo is just across the street from the bar. Being 19, I bought each of us a Guinness that was recommended to me via text message from my friend's brother, an also good friend of mine. The Guinness was alright, I never cared for beer much. Some of the comedians were pretty funny, including my friend. Though, I'd heard some of his material before but that's just because he's still trying out material. I'm a huge supporter and have been to a few shows. His punchline at the end is golden. When I was getting the beers, and elderly woman started asking me if I liked Guinness and I told her that it tastes really good in Geneva, Switzerland without realizing the beer I had tried had been Heineken, a German beer, not an Irish one. My friend thought it pretty odd too when I texted him the story. Anyway, this woman was clearly drunk and I quickly left after I received my drinks. It cost me $15 though for both and I was a bit shocked at how expensive this was. I'm no alcohol expert, but I'm pretty sure you can get beer for way cheaper. I went back upstairs with my overly expensive beers in hand and we drank while watching the comedians. Later on, the elderly woman came up the stairs and began talking throughout one funnyman's stand-up. He kept telling her to shut up, but wasn't that tense about it. Comedy, I know is an art, some people have it while others don't. But what I really find strange is how hard some comedians try. I believe anyone can be humourous because life is humourous at parts. I'm not saying I'm some hilarious funnyman, but I can easily tell when someone's trying to shove jokes down my throat. With humour, you've got to be very comfortable and natural with it. If you try too hard, it'll probably not be funny. You've got to be witty and clever at points, and enjoy the topic your talking about. Also, toilet humor. It can be funny but if you push it too far, your act becomes toilet humor. Some people don't know where to start, while others have no idea where to begin. I wonder what would happen if I did stand-up, I wonder if people would laugh. I would have to come up with some material though, that might be a bit tough. I believe anyone can be funny, if they don't think too hard and are just themselves.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
SNOW DAY
Alright, so I lied. I sometimes do that. In January 2010 I wrote that I would never write another blog unless someone commented on the blog I had just written. Someone commented, thank you K, and so I wrote another blog in December. No one's commented in many months but I think that I should just write more blogs even if people don't comment. Hopefully it'll bring comments and followers. I need to proceed into the darkness and pull the light towards me. In other words, by writing more blogs I might be able to concoct more posts that might draw readers' attention. So without further ado, here's a new blog.
A snow day. When you think of those three words, what do you think of? Probably a city blanketed in snow. Snow up to your waist. Doors frozen solid and the snow's almost at the door handle. Power lines down, roads blocked, school's cancelled. You can't shovel because there's nowhere to put it and your car's stuck in the driveway, buried under the white fluffiness. Mother nature at her worst. It's an official snow day in Toronto but it shouldn't be. People were expecting this freak snowstorm that we never got. They cancelled meetings in advance and even the schools are closed today. Except for UofT, maybe they figured that, like me, the snow's not a huge obstacle for students. There are still cars on the road, not very many though as usual, and I was still able to shovel. Flights were cancelled or severely delayed, but that I understand. From what I saw on the television, it looked as if the sky was so blurry that someone stuck up a very large grey blanket overtop of the sky making it impossible for a pilot to see anything. It's probably cleared up by now. Seriously though, we've had this much snow before and the city didn't complain. Maybe I'm missing something, I'm not sure, but from the looks of outside it seems drivable and walkable. The police have cautioned drivers to drive slowly due to the weather conditions but that's not new. The only time I remember having a snow day was about three years ago. First off, it was brutally cold and there literally was a small blizzard outside. When I looked out the window, it didn't look like such a great day to walk to school but I did. I had turned on the television before hoping for a snow day but the weatherman did say that some schools were closed but not mine or any in the area. When I got to school it wasn't until second period that they announced a snow day. The wind was picking up speed and more snow was falling. It angered me though because I had already trekked the way here just to find that my journey had been useless. Still, I was happy it was a snow day. The next day though there was school. Snow days never usually last more than a day I've found, unless they're critically severe like maybe the one I sort of described at the beginning of this post. Of course, if I was in school, I would be ecstatic that schools are closed but I would still chuckle at the fact that Toronto needs to calm down because the city can still function. I hear that there's more snow to come, but by the looks of things it'll probably only be a few more centimetres. Guess we'll just have to wait and see though.
A snow day. When you think of those three words, what do you think of? Probably a city blanketed in snow. Snow up to your waist. Doors frozen solid and the snow's almost at the door handle. Power lines down, roads blocked, school's cancelled. You can't shovel because there's nowhere to put it and your car's stuck in the driveway, buried under the white fluffiness. Mother nature at her worst. It's an official snow day in Toronto but it shouldn't be. People were expecting this freak snowstorm that we never got. They cancelled meetings in advance and even the schools are closed today. Except for UofT, maybe they figured that, like me, the snow's not a huge obstacle for students. There are still cars on the road, not very many though as usual, and I was still able to shovel. Flights were cancelled or severely delayed, but that I understand. From what I saw on the television, it looked as if the sky was so blurry that someone stuck up a very large grey blanket overtop of the sky making it impossible for a pilot to see anything. It's probably cleared up by now. Seriously though, we've had this much snow before and the city didn't complain. Maybe I'm missing something, I'm not sure, but from the looks of outside it seems drivable and walkable. The police have cautioned drivers to drive slowly due to the weather conditions but that's not new. The only time I remember having a snow day was about three years ago. First off, it was brutally cold and there literally was a small blizzard outside. When I looked out the window, it didn't look like such a great day to walk to school but I did. I had turned on the television before hoping for a snow day but the weatherman did say that some schools were closed but not mine or any in the area. When I got to school it wasn't until second period that they announced a snow day. The wind was picking up speed and more snow was falling. It angered me though because I had already trekked the way here just to find that my journey had been useless. Still, I was happy it was a snow day. The next day though there was school. Snow days never usually last more than a day I've found, unless they're critically severe like maybe the one I sort of described at the beginning of this post. Of course, if I was in school, I would be ecstatic that schools are closed but I would still chuckle at the fact that Toronto needs to calm down because the city can still function. I hear that there's more snow to come, but by the looks of things it'll probably only be a few more centimetres. Guess we'll just have to wait and see though.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The Writer
Well for quite some time now I've been editing and reediting my first book The Wrongdoer. I keep going back and forth, and back and forth with it. I've even gotten to the point where I read it out loud to myself to see if it "reads properly" I guess is the word. I've sometimes stumbled over words as I reread but sometimes I believe that I read too fast so this helps in stumbling over certain words or not pronouncing them correctly. What has caused me to reedit this book countless times is because I've always found something that needs to be fixed. Will I ever finish this book? I don't know. I hope so. I want to be one of those famous novelists some day. I know many people would say, "dream on" but I have faith in myself. Who knows, I could be the next J.K. Rowling. She wrote her first book on a napkin and now she's richer than the Queen and lives off the Harry Potter franchise. I read her books, and there so well written. She really knows how to write characters and hook the reader. Sometimes it seems I'm writing words that just don't fit but I move on. Now I'm going back on fixing those words that don't belong. I hope I'm not being a narcissist. But I want to be known in the world. Most of all, I want people to read what I write. Send me emails, postcards, etc. I love reading feedback, it really helps me as a writer. I try to attend a writer's group every other Thursday but sometimes work limits me from attending these extravagant gatherings. As far as my groups go on Facebook, they seem to be dying. No one comments on my stories or even posts anything of their own on my group ANDY RUFFETT: THE TEENAGE PRODIGY. I can't keep reminding them. I keep posting but no one else responds. I know people are busy with school (I'm not in university) but still, it only takes a few minutes to read or maybe more depending how long the story or poem is. I'm not asking for constant comments, I just need someone to say something so I know someone's reading. I created my own Andy Ruffett page to try and see if that would help comments, it didn't. I even was able to post songs I wrote as MP3s. One person commented telling me to send videos of myself singing these songs. That would be great, if I only knew how to post videos on YouTube. Yeah, that's pretty sad. With the group, I used to send notifications to my members to inform them of new posts but that never worked. People have asked me to email them my stories, but than I never hear back. I created a Twitter account today, not really knowing what it is. (I'm so out of my media generated generation) I didn't realize you just post whatever's "happening." Thought it would be another place to post my work. Unless I have links, forget it. Oh well, maybe I'll gather some followers. My life besides writing is pretty boring. All I do is work and write it seems. I'm planning on traveling with two of my friends in the new year and we're still planning for that, but I hardly see them. They're also working. Maybe this is why I'm getting so agitated no one comments on my works. It's not like I want to attend a party every week. But hanging out with friends every few days would be fun. Too bad most of everyone I know is off in university. I don't regret not being in school though. I need the time off. My life might really develop more though when I'm in Europe with two of my friends. That trip will really broaden my eyes of the world. I already have traveled to many places, many outside Canada, but traveling with your family isn't the same. For now, I'll just keep editing The Wrongdoer. If only I head a friend who was really persistent with my stories and always commented on them. But the world isn't at your fingertips and sometimes you just have to let the sand sift through your out stretched fingers because you can't hold it all in place.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Some Spiel
Alright, so hello everyone who is reading this. My name is Andy Ruffett. Now, as I said to my little notes on facebook I expect comments from this blog. If they don't occur no more posting because I don't just blog for myself I blog for others. I try to write in my diary every day and also given that I'm also beginning to write facebook notes as blogs, this is just something else I'm trying. I read one guy's blogs and he had no comments. I mean what the hell's the point of these things if no one comments? Maybe you have to introduce your work more, I don't know. Send people emails, type blog titles like MAN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS in big letters to get people's attention. Who knows, I'm new at this whole blogging thing. So please comment that's all I ask.
Alright enough with that ramble, let's move on to what this whole spiel is going to be about.
Well for starters I don't think I have much to say which is sad. I think blogs are supposed to have some specific intent with them or to reveal whatever you want to reveal to the reader. Like what Julie Powell did with her Julia Child cookbook blog. But I'm a terrible cook so could never write a blog like that. I even failed on my first time of mac and cheese which wasn't so long ago. I boiled the water but mixed the butter and milk with water. Who the fuck does that? Me apparently. But I absolutely love food but I am definitely crippled when it comes to making what I want to eat. I mean I can make sandwiches and all that, but even mac and cheese I fail at. But I did get it right the second time so I'm proud. So I'll be living my life with sandwiches, mac and cheese, and maybe some things to drink. Well, I have made eggs a couple of times and boiled hotdogs so I guess I have some food. But probably eating that every day will kill me. Well, I've never liked cooking so probably never will become a gourmet chef, so feel a bit selfish by just eating. My mom, my sister, and my dad all cook. My dad cooks like curry, rice, omelettes-he makes some good ones-but not much, and my mom cooks mostly everything, and my sister cooks too. She's really good at making cookies. She makes some delicious cookies. She even made pinapple and chicken, in this really lovely sauce. MMMM...damn that was tasty. Who knew that pineapples and chicken tasted so good together. See that's the thing with being all risky like that-even if she did pull out of a recipe book-I acutally would definitely fail at. I mean I once was disgusted by my friend eating mac and cheese with ketchup and then my friend's sister said that they also put ketchup on their apples. I tried it, yeah didn't end well but i pretended that it tasted delicious but they knew I had been tricked. So a little thing you've learned about me, I love to eat. Toon in for more blogs upcoming. Who knows what random spiel I'll cook up. That's the only thing I can cook, words.
Alright enough with that ramble, let's move on to what this whole spiel is going to be about.
Well for starters I don't think I have much to say which is sad. I think blogs are supposed to have some specific intent with them or to reveal whatever you want to reveal to the reader. Like what Julie Powell did with her Julia Child cookbook blog. But I'm a terrible cook so could never write a blog like that. I even failed on my first time of mac and cheese which wasn't so long ago. I boiled the water but mixed the butter and milk with water. Who the fuck does that? Me apparently. But I absolutely love food but I am definitely crippled when it comes to making what I want to eat. I mean I can make sandwiches and all that, but even mac and cheese I fail at. But I did get it right the second time so I'm proud. So I'll be living my life with sandwiches, mac and cheese, and maybe some things to drink. Well, I have made eggs a couple of times and boiled hotdogs so I guess I have some food. But probably eating that every day will kill me. Well, I've never liked cooking so probably never will become a gourmet chef, so feel a bit selfish by just eating. My mom, my sister, and my dad all cook. My dad cooks like curry, rice, omelettes-he makes some good ones-but not much, and my mom cooks mostly everything, and my sister cooks too. She's really good at making cookies. She makes some delicious cookies. She even made pinapple and chicken, in this really lovely sauce. MMMM...damn that was tasty. Who knew that pineapples and chicken tasted so good together. See that's the thing with being all risky like that-even if she did pull out of a recipe book-I acutally would definitely fail at. I mean I once was disgusted by my friend eating mac and cheese with ketchup and then my friend's sister said that they also put ketchup on their apples. I tried it, yeah didn't end well but i pretended that it tasted delicious but they knew I had been tricked. So a little thing you've learned about me, I love to eat. Toon in for more blogs upcoming. Who knows what random spiel I'll cook up. That's the only thing I can cook, words.
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