21 and I Don't Feel At All Different

21. The age where i can drink EVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEEE! It's pretty fantastic. I just turned 21 on February 8 and though I went to Hugh's Room with my family it was still great. Had McFadden scotch-whiskey which is simply the best. The Etta James tribute concert was amazing and that Shakura S'Aida can really sing. My mom apparently knew all about her. My sister also came down from McGill in Montréal to celebrate my birthday which was pretty great as well. Thanks to her I have two books on manliness. Barney Stinson's Bro Code and the Maxims of Manhood. Now that I'm a man, I have to read all about being a man.

I already finished reading the Debrett's Guide for the Modern Gentleman but my sister says that it's better to be a man than a gentleman. So far I've learned from Maxims that a man eats blood enriched foods and wears pink. From Bro Code however, I've learned that a bro always reminds another bro about their girlfriend's birthday, the bro's anniversary, etc. and that a bro never wears pink even in Europe. Clearly, I have contradictory books here but I don't think anyone should agree to everything they read. But with regards to the pink rule, I will wear it not because of the books but because I already own pink clothes. Simple as that.

But as this title highlights, I don't feel different. Not at all. Still feel like the same lonely, creatively charming, single guy. But Valentine's Day is coming up so maybe that'll bring hope to my miserable situation? Sadly I doubt it. According to Maxims, I should despise Valentine's Day and don't understand it. If you want to know the true history of Valentine's Day you should check out Michael Lake's version. And once you've read that you'll find "Cupid" to be some creep in a diaper. Anyway, that day I'm tabling at York University in order to promote my writers' group so at least I won't be bored this Valentine's Day. Last Valentine's Day was the psychotic breakdown so hopefully no strange triggers go off this time. Honestly, I shouldn't even discuss that anymore.

But like my title suggests, I don't feel different. I still hate York University but university plans for next year right now or up in the air. If any changes have occurred with me, it would probably be the fact that I'm behind in my school work and I'm never behind. Also, my work ethic therefore has decreased. I've handed two assignments which I know were crap and got one back confirming its crappiness. 57% is not something you go waving around in joy.

If anything my birthday should be my resolution to work harder but I'm hardly working given the fact that I'm writing this blog post instead of attending to school work. Oh well.

School though has lost interest for me at least at York. I'm not really learning anything but how to regurgitate information. Education by definition provides a learning component. Since that component's not there I'm sitting in a class listening to a teacher instruct. Why was it British Columbia that classes seemed to be more engaging knowledgefilled? Is it because it was my 1st year in university or is it because British Columbia just has a better teaching method than York? Or is it my B.C. bias kicking in? Who knows? All I know is that York isn't for me and I've been thinking that way for a while now so therefore, no difference.

It's Been A While

Since I wrote anything on this blog. 2011 is long gone and we're now in 2013. Still unemployed and looking for work. Now I go to York University in Toronto but I wish I was back in Kelowna, British Columbia at UBCO. I'm trying to start up a writers' group at the Keele campus at York and just spent the last three days sending emails to every professor I could email to ask if I could announce the group in their classes.

School work you ask?

Nah, haven't done any for this week which is terrible. Tomorrow I put up posters for my group. Really, it's been GROUP! GROUP! GROUP! for the past week. I have lots of work I need to get to like readings from the Bible, essays to write, etc. But I won't bore you with that information. That's my problem, not yours.

If any of you are interested I have another blog which I regularly use: The Ruffetting Post. Word of the Days have been lacking for the last few days and everyone I contacted on Facebook to provide me a word has not ANSWERED ME! Usually people do respond so I can't explain the lack of responses. But on that sentence, please submit to my online magazine or at least provide a word of the day. That would be greatly appreciated. And since I'm selling myself on this blog, if you like videos, singing, reading, and me in general check out my Youtube channel and of course if you just like writing there's always WritersCafe. Right, that's enough of self promotion.

If you asked me how I was I'd probably say I'm fine but really I'm getting quite sick of Toronto. I was brought back to the city I was born in almost in a body bag. ALMOST. That has an interesting story to it and it involves a girl. Well, doesn't it always? Well that girl people tell me I should forget and on top of that I shouldn't even think of having a future with her. Still, that girl is in Kelowna, British Columbia; the place I want to go back to. Of course it is bloody stupid for me to go back just for her but really I want to go back for myself. I miss my friends and Toronto is not like how it was before. Will I go back? Now that's the big question, isn't it? I have no idea. If I'm funding myself, no chance really. If my parents help me even if they're scared shitless of me going back, I might have a chance. I don't know though if they will. I now see a psychiatrist due to my little episode. Here's a break down on the episode: crush on a girl, get obsessed, restraining order, mental hospital, go to Toronto, come back to UBCO, still obsessed, another trip to the mental hospital, Toronto, psychiatrist. That's all you really need to know.

As you can see, I'm more delusional than before. But I'm making the best of what I have. Maybe next post I'll have more to write about.

Oh yeah, and now I sign my name with this like I'm famous:

With writes,

-Andy Ruffett


P.S. Don't forget that there is not another post unless someone comments or likes this post or a previous one. Can you even like on Blogger? Well, if you can, I'll post again if I get a comment or like.

One is the Loneliest Number

It really is. As many have said, we are social creatures. We live to be social. You ever hear about the story of the children who had no affection but were still taken care of? They all curled up against the wall and died. Why? Because they had no affection. True story. Back in the day, many didn't realize how important affection was. Life is pointless if we don't do something with it. I'm completely against suicidals and people who are deeply depressed. People make us live. Without people, we die, essentially. All those people who live by themselves they try to find something to do. If they're retired, well they join some group. They don't just sit on a couch and watch the world pass by. Well some do, and they need to be shown how spectacular  life is. So do something with your life, and you'll enjoy living as long as you do. I don't want to put religion into this and I don't know when I'll die. All I know is I'm going to live my life the way I want to live my life. You should do the same.

What is the point of that last paragraph? Well, let me explain.

I'm alone. Okay, now that's a depressing way to start a sentence. The point is, I'm alone in the house. Yes, "Home Alone" if you like. No one else is here. Being jobless doesn't help the situation. No job and no one else in the house because my parents are in Spain. What's a 19-year-old to do? Party? Well there is that, but I'm actually looking for a job, so not much time for that. Luckily, my last job, that I had before I travelled for two months around Europe, seems to want to hire me back, so hopefully I'll be working in a few days. Going back to what I wrote in my first paragraph, life needs to have a purpose in order for it to be fun. No one should throw their life away. We are all brilliant, we are all intelligent. Find yourself, know what to do, and then do it. Whatever it may be. By the words of Stephen Fry, "How will you ever know if you don't try?" Trying is all the fun of it. "Make mistakes, get messy," as the famous Ms. Frizzle once said. But as a good friend told me, there's a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom comes from within. So believe in yourself, and that's all I'm going to write here.

Now back to me:

So now that you've digested all that or just skipped it entirely, days can be quite boring when you're jobless, alone in the house, and all your friends are working. For the past few days I've been going out looking for a job. It is very strenuous work. But job hunting is a job in itself. At least, I'm creative. I can easily write, sing, and play the drums to pass the time. Still, it would be nice to have some company. That's why I'm very excited to be working again. You experience so much when working, and you learn so much too. Experience teaches. Also as a writer, I'm very interested in people. They are quite some fascinating people out there. Understand the mind and the different people in the world, and you can create characters. Go out and explore the world, and understand the mechanics of the world, you've created a setting. Now, learn through either being self taught or being taught by a teacher who knows what they're doing, and you can create a beginning, a middle, and an end for your story. Well, if you're planning to write a book that is. There are many different writing conventions within different types of works though. If you want to write poetry, you just need to understand structure, timing, rhythm, and many other conventions. Read The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry if you're at all interested in this particular subject. If you want to write an essay, all you need is an argument and a topic. Now it's up to you to make your argument convincing. You have to have a way with words for that. Short stories are like short novels. A script a has completely different set of conventions. There are many things I can spend my time doing and while travelling alone, I wrote quite a lot and read a lot. Reading and writing go hand in hand. Without reading you can't write and without writing, well, you can't be writing well if you don't read as well. The word writer is nothing special. "A writer is a person who writes," Professor Arnie Achtman said. Anyone who writes is a writer. But it takes greatness and wisdom, to become the title Novelist or Poet or Scriptwriter. We all have a genius inside us, we just need to release it. But writing is best done alone, so I guess being alone isn't so bad. I have always been a sociable guy, so really writing out of boredom is more like talking to myself but through characters I create. I've always had a creative imagination and have always been a deep thinker. So I guess for me, being alone isn't so bad as long as I have my mind, a computer and keyboard or a notepad, and a pencil or a pen. Still, it's lonely being alone and it's really the reason I wrote this entry. 

My Globe: The Slightly Embarassing Story

Many years ago I was an immature teenager, well maybe I still am, you be the judge. Back in the day, my sister and I loved to make up random improv sketches and film them. Sometimes we even had story lines but nothing was ever written on a script. I believe the day it happened was when we were pretending there was a killer on the lose and I was a teacher teaching my invisible students (though I would have obviously thought they were real) about the world when suddenly I was shot or maybe I had a heart attack and there was no killer, I can't remember, it was so long ago. Anyway, the point being, that when I fell down I was holding a globe in my hand and the delicate structure smashed on the ground and the whole stand came lose. A chunk of plastic, that held the stand together, also broke off. I was so angry with myself after the aftermath of our stupid film. That globe had been given to me as a name day present.* I thought I had really destroyed it so I duct taped the stand to the globe so it could still "stand" without wobbling over. The duct tape never really held and it just kept "wobbling over." A few weeks ago, I realized that this duct tape was useless (I have just proven that not anything can be fixed with duct tape) and removed all of it. But since I had left it on for so long, the adhesive had peeled off and was all over the stand making it very sticky like sap from a pine tree. If you ever had pine sap stuck to you, you know what I'm talking about. So I went down to Mastermind to ask them if maybe I could buy another stand from them, but they didn't carry stands without globes and one of the sales associates told me to email the company that made my globe, it wasn't the same company that made the Mastermind ones. Well I had put that idea off until yesterday where I then googled the company Globemaster and was able to find thousands of results but most on military and marine life. I decided to fix this globe myself using elastics. After wrapping the globe with elastic upon elastic, even my dad helped hold the globe in place, I realized this method was useless and none of these stupid elastics would hold the stand in place. That was when my dad noticed the little hole in the bottom part of the bar that held the globe and the inside of the piece that connected the base to the rest of the globe. The way the inside was formed, it seemed that the hole should easily fit in there. He left me to ponder this thought until it came to me. The hole was in the shape of a screw head. There was a screw inside the part of the piece that held the base and bar of the globe. I had wondered what it was doing there. The screw fit in the screw head hole which would then be inserted into the piece. The bottom of the screw would be seen under the base and after you tightened the nut, it would all fall into place. The chunk of the piece that broke off was able to rest back in the groove it left. With many elastics wrapped around the piece, they held the piece together. So I'm a screw head and a nut for not figuring this out long ago. That duct tape so many years ago was pointless. I had to cover that piece with tons and tons of elastics so I wouldn't touch the sticky adhesive marks. Wow. Well, the mistakes we make help us construct for a better future. You can read that literally and say that I'll be constructing globes some day. Ha! Yeah, right. Or you can take the non literal approach or believe it to mean that some day I'm going to break another person's globe but guess what? I'll know how to fix it. Maybe.

* My full name is Andonis (An-don-e) which means Anthony in Greek and every Greek name has a name day. Mine is January 17. Andonis, if you search it, is also a "variant of Andrew" according to WeddingVendors.com. My name means brave and manly, and my famous bearer is Prince Andrew. So really, when people call me Andrew, they are somewhat right because there is Andrew in my name. It's really why my nickname is Andy, it derives from Andonis. My mother always liked the name Andy. Still, I keep telling people that there is no Andrew in my name because there really isn't. You see, there is no name day for Andonis but there is a name day for Antonis which means Anthony in Greek. Anthony can also somewhat derive from Andonis as well. If you just switch the "d" to a "t," you get Antonis. But isn't Andonis, much better sounding? I think so. Anyway, as Gus says in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, "There you go."

Cold Comedy

Today was freezing outside. I never really particularly liked the cold, never have. I like winter but not when the icy wind rushes through your body. Yesterday was my birthday so I am officially 19 now. Legal in every way, well, in Canada. Read my horoscope today and was told that I would be very financially successful. It even told me to buy me a lottery ticket, so I did. Didn't win anything unfortunately. Chose Crossword, maybe the odds were against me. Almost got two words though. The cashier asked me if I was over 25 and I stupidly said, "Yes." She just nodded at me as I began to hand her the three dollars. I asked her to clarify the question and once I found out that if I was under 25 I had to show her ID, I showed her my driver's license to prove my age. What occurred to me though was that I could have lied and left with the cashier thinking I'm 25. Of course it's something I'd never do, but I never thought I looked anywhere close to 25. The rest of the day was just spent at home fixing iTunes. I'm trying to organize my library and it's taking a brutally long time. I won't dwell into the details. Soon left the house to go shopping for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" CD because I love the album cover and the music of course. While shopping at HMV, I bought an additional CD, Dave Matthew's "The Best of What's Around" and the movie "Get Smart." It was only $6 and my mother's cousin, who lives in Montreal, had Steve Carell and the film crew drop by his house, and they asked him if they could use his ladas in the film. "Get Smart" was a show around in the 1960s and 1970s that would have used cars of the lada age in the show. The film crew wanted the movie to be as close to the show as possible. They paid him a huge sum of money for the use of his ladas and my mom's cousin even taught Terrence Stamp, who plays Siegfried in the film, how to drive standard because he didn't know how. The cast came to his house and he even got to watch some of the scenes, like the ballroom scene. American actors usually come to Canada to film because it's cheaper and that's just what Carell and the film crew were doing. I even got an autograph by Steve Carrel and one of my friends got one as well. It was a great experience and I had to buy the film to remember the laughs and memories of what this film really means to me.
         At around dinner time, a good friend of mine called me asking if I wanted to go to a bar and see a friend of mine do some stand-up comedy along with many other comedians. Of course I said "yes" because I don't do much these days except work and save for my backpacking trip to Europe which I'm doing in April. We met at his place and just hung out until it was time to head over. His condo is just across the street from the bar. Being 19, I bought each of us a Guinness that was recommended to me via text message from my friend's brother, an also good friend of mine. The Guinness was alright, I never cared for beer much. Some of the comedians were pretty funny, including my friend. Though, I'd heard some of his material before but that's just because he's still trying out material. I'm a huge supporter and have been to a few shows. His punchline at the end is golden. When I was getting the beers, and elderly woman started asking me if I liked Guinness and I told her that it tastes really good in Geneva, Switzerland without realizing the beer I had tried had been Heineken, a German beer, not an Irish one. My friend thought it pretty odd too when I texted him the story. Anyway, this woman was clearly drunk and I quickly left after I received my drinks. It cost me $15 though for both and I was a bit shocked at how expensive this was. I'm no alcohol expert, but I'm pretty sure you can get beer for way cheaper. I went back upstairs with my overly expensive beers in hand and we drank while watching the comedians. Later on, the elderly woman came up the stairs and began talking throughout one funnyman's stand-up. He kept telling her to shut up, but wasn't that tense about it. Comedy, I know is an art, some people have it while others don't. But what I really find strange is how hard some comedians try. I believe anyone can be humourous because life is humourous at parts. I'm not saying I'm some hilarious funnyman, but I can easily tell when someone's trying to shove jokes down my throat. With humour, you've got to be very comfortable and natural with it. If you try too hard, it'll probably not be funny. You've got to be witty and clever at points, and enjoy the topic your talking about. Also, toilet humor. It can be funny but if you push it too far, your act becomes toilet humor. Some people don't know where to start, while others have no idea where to begin.  I wonder what would happen if I did stand-up, I wonder if people would laugh. I would have to come up with some material though, that might be a bit tough. I believe anyone can be funny, if they don't think too hard and are just themselves.
 

       

SNOW DAY

Alright, so I lied. I sometimes do that. In January 2010 I wrote that I would never write another blog unless someone commented on the blog I had just written. Someone commented, thank you K, and so I wrote another blog in December. No one's commented in many months but I think that I should just write more blogs even if people don't comment. Hopefully it'll bring comments and followers. I need to proceed into the darkness and pull the light towards me. In other words, by writing more blogs I might be able to concoct more posts that might draw readers' attention. So without further ado, here's a new blog.

A snow day. When you think of those three words, what do you think of? Probably a city blanketed in snow. Snow up to your waist. Doors frozen solid and the snow's almost at the door handle. Power lines down, roads blocked, school's cancelled. You can't shovel because there's nowhere to put it and your car's stuck in the driveway, buried under the white fluffiness. Mother nature at her worst. It's an official snow day in Toronto but it shouldn't be. People were expecting this freak snowstorm that we never got. They cancelled meetings in advance and even the schools are closed today. Except for UofT, maybe they figured that, like me, the snow's not a huge obstacle for students. There are still cars on the road, not very many though as usual, and I was still able to shovel. Flights were cancelled or severely delayed, but that I understand. From what I saw on the television, it looked as if the sky was so blurry that someone stuck up a very large grey blanket overtop of the sky making it impossible for a pilot to see anything. It's probably cleared up by now. Seriously though, we've had this much snow before and the city didn't complain. Maybe I'm missing something, I'm not sure, but from the looks of outside it seems drivable and walkable. The police have cautioned drivers to drive slowly due to the weather conditions but that's not new. The only time I remember having a snow day was about three years ago. First off, it was brutally cold and there literally was a small blizzard outside. When I looked out the window, it didn't look like such a great day to walk to school but I did. I had turned on the television before hoping for a snow day but the weatherman did say that some schools were closed but not mine or any in the area. When I got to school it wasn't until second period that they announced a snow day. The wind was picking up speed and more snow was falling. It angered me though because I had already trekked the way here just to find that my journey had been useless. Still, I was happy it was a snow day. The next day though there was school. Snow days never usually last more than a day I've found, unless they're critically severe like maybe the one I sort of described at the beginning of this post. Of course, if I was in school, I would be ecstatic that schools are closed but I would still chuckle at the fact that Toronto needs to calm down because the city can still function. I hear that there's more snow to come, but by the looks of things it'll probably only be a few more centimetres. Guess we'll just have to wait and see though.

The Writer

Well for quite some time now I've been editing and reediting my first book The Wrongdoer. I keep going back and forth, and back and forth with it. I've even gotten to the point where I read it out loud to myself to see if it "reads properly" I guess is the word. I've sometimes stumbled over words as I reread but sometimes I believe that I read too fast so this helps in stumbling over certain words or not pronouncing them correctly. What has caused me to reedit this book countless times is because I've always found something that needs to be fixed. Will I ever finish this book? I don't know. I hope so. I want to be one of those famous novelists some day. I know many people would say, "dream on" but I have faith in myself. Who knows, I could be the next J.K. Rowling. She wrote her first book on a napkin and now she's richer than the Queen and lives off the Harry Potter franchise. I read her books, and there so well written. She really knows how to write characters and hook the reader. Sometimes it seems I'm writing words that just don't fit but I move on. Now I'm going back on fixing those words that don't belong. I hope I'm not being a narcissist. But I want to be known in the world. Most of all, I want people to read what I write. Send me emails, postcards, etc. I love reading feedback, it really helps me as a writer. I try to attend a writer's group every other Thursday but sometimes work limits me from attending these extravagant gatherings. As far as my groups go on Facebook, they seem to be dying. No one comments on my stories or even posts anything of their own on my group ANDY RUFFETT: THE TEENAGE PRODIGY. I can't keep reminding them. I keep posting but no one else responds. I know people are busy with school (I'm not in university) but still, it only takes a few minutes to read or maybe more depending how long the story or poem is. I'm not asking for constant comments, I just need someone to say something so I know someone's reading. I created my own Andy Ruffett page to try and see if that would help comments, it didn't. I even was able to post songs I wrote as MP3s. One person commented telling me to send videos of myself singing these songs. That would be great, if I only knew how to post videos on YouTube. Yeah, that's pretty sad. With the group, I used to send notifications to my members to inform them of new posts but that never worked. People have asked me to email them my stories, but than I never hear back. I created a Twitter account today, not really knowing what it is. (I'm so out of my media generated generation) I didn't realize you just post whatever's "happening." Thought it would be another place to post my work. Unless I have links, forget it. Oh well, maybe I'll gather some followers. My life besides writing is pretty boring. All I do is work and write it seems. I'm planning on traveling with two of my friends in the new year and we're still planning for that, but I hardly see them. They're also working. Maybe this is why I'm getting so agitated no one comments on my works. It's not like I want to attend a party every week. But hanging out with friends every few days would be fun. Too bad most of everyone I know is off in university. I don't regret not being in school though. I need the time off. My life might really develop more though when I'm in Europe with two of my friends. That trip will really broaden my eyes of the world. I already have traveled to many places, many outside Canada, but traveling with your family isn't the same. For now, I'll just keep editing The Wrongdoer. If only I head a friend who was really persistent with my stories and always commented on them. But the world isn't at your fingertips and sometimes you just have to let the sand sift through your out stretched fingers because you can't hold it all in place.